Patriots Recap

I had some thai food last night for dinner, brought it home, got on the couch and turned on the Patriots game.  To my delight they immediately began to tear apart the Jets! With a whopping final score of 45-3 there is no question who is dominant for the AFC east title. Jet definitely talked a big talk with the build up before the game, while the Patriots were tight lipped the whole time. I love seeing the Patriots dismantle a team, but especially when the opposing team claims they will teach the Patriots a lesson. The Patriots play with such ease, an attacking force which makes every Patriots player on the field a threat! They are the team to beat right now!

Collecting Thoughts

This semester has blown by so quickly, and here is the final the final week of school. Wow! This past weekend was fun, Saturday morning I slept in (for once) and went to Atomic Cafe with my dad for breakfast.  After breakfast he took off for the day on his motorcycle and I walked around Marblehead enjoying the atmosphere of the Christmas walk. I took pictures using my sisters Canon F1 with black and white film (I can't wait to get the roll developed). After getting my dose of fresh air I headed home, stopping at Manhattan Sandwich Company for a a quick bite.  As I was waiting for my lunch (empire sub) an old friend came in, clocking in for his shift. In a good mood I went home.  At 5p.m. I went over to Rod (my English professors) house for a homemade pizza party.  After a stomach full of good food I went to the showing of Red Noses.  A good three hours later (a long but funny play on the bubonic plague) I went home to catch some shuteye before going to work the following morning. It felt good to spend the day by myself, breathing fresh air, and taking pictures!

A winter Haiku

The sun shines bright
cold lingers in the bones
Winter has stricken the land.

Winter

It doesn't seem like December to me, I am for once looking foreword to the snowflakes falling and blanketing the world. No people rushing to stores, going to a cafe to grab coffee, driving kids to school, our world is always in motion, but it is moments like these where we can stop and appreciate the beauty in nature. I love when everything is quiet, not a sound, no car horns, or sirens, no voices, the world has for few hours stopped its constant bustling, just silence and the big white snowflakes that continue to fall. 

Thoughts collected from my documented essay.

The Documented essay has had me thinking about what I want in life. I suppose my topic would do that, I am writing about Ansel Adams, the famous photographer of the American west. My two biggest questions that have come to mind as I have written this paper are Can I live off the land, make art: photographs, write about my adventures, travel across this country once more, settle in Colorado, not live by the deadlines of school, get rid of all the crap I own and feel I 'need' but never use, find the balance between our consumeristic society and the simplicity of nature? Why do I feel that this will not be accomplished while I remain in School?

Time will tell the answer to all questions.

Warmth

I have to comment on the weather, I am after all wearing shorts and a light sweater that my mom would scold me for wearing on any other day in November in New England. It is beautiful out making me thing of spring and those warm days that have seemingly been behind us, well until today arrived. I feel the urge to get out and ride while the weather is warm, considering all my other rides on the road I have been frozen to the bone and felt the the numbness creep up my arms. Whew, I am glad to have this weather! I will enjoy this warmth before the inevitable cold takes over once more.

Thanksgiving

I am excited for the Thanksgiving break, to stuff myself full of food and just enjoy the day, no need to work or go to school, simply relax with my family and enjoy the day!

Oh and who knew that at the first Thanksgiving the Pilgrims and Native Americans had lobster!

I well deserved short time off from school to rejuvenate and finish off the semester strong.

A moment of clarity

Despite the craziness of today, I have been able to keep myself internally at peace and because of that, I am content. I wish to live passionately wherever life may lead me in the future. 

"Om"

Yesterday I found my japa mala given to me years ago, I lost it about a month ago and I am so happy to have found it once more! It is my way to step back and catch my breath in this busy world. It is made from the seeds of the rudraksha tree, a tree that is considered sacred. Just wearing it on my wrist emanates throughout me keeping my mind at peace with the internal chant in my head of a continuos "Om."

Storyland Criterium Recap

I started off dead last, keeping a steady rhythm, I began to pick off guys moving up the whole field to the lead group of six guys. I sat in for a couple of laps, rested, I noticed where they let up the pressure on the pedals.  With two laps to go I put the hammer down attacking the main group, only one guy responded and I shattered the rest of the field, the race was on! I led through all of Storyland, with one lap to go I was still leading and this guy was still with me, on the second to last hairpin turn before the finish as I was cornering and my pedal unclipped, I lost my momentum for a second and the guy went by me, shouting in anguish I regained speed, but the race had been lost there and after tasting victory I came in second. This was the most fun I've ever had on a bike, the course was like formula one racing sharp turns, small but very steep hill and of course it was through Storyland!

Porky Gulch

Closing my eyes, feeling relaxed, breathing deeply, opening my eyes, hunger satisfied, thinking about this weekend, tuning the bicycle, pumping the tires, securing my bikes to the truck, packing my cold weather gear, listening to "Explosions in the Sky," throwing my bag of clothes over the shoulder, heading downstairs, taking a last look at the house, I knew I was ready for this weekends race, the Porky Gulch classic!

Yearning

I want to go west once more, see the wide open spaces, have campfires, live in the moment, experience the beauty of nature and life itself. Watch the crows fly, home wherever their home might be. When I turn into dust I want to have experienced it all!

The people I have met going cross country certainly changed and influenced me and I hope they are doing well. The memories were magnificent and I am definitely dreaming of when I can go again and live it all again! 

Blazing like Wildfire

Mind racing, thoughts jumping to new thoughts before the thoughts can even fully formulate. The inner workings of a human, the thought process. My thought to type, move my fingers, produce words, all in the blink of an eye, or in some cases even quicker.  

We as humans are very complex, our design, unbelievably intricate, yet we accept it and do not question the wonder of life. Many seem to take this gift for granted and squander the precious moments that are given to us as humans. Wouldn't in be wonderful to live like a tree. Slow in thought and action, simply appreciating the beauty of what surrounds us. We would have time to gain knowledge, daily tasks would not have to be rushed, or even called daily tasks, for why put time constraints when all that is needed to be done, is s-l-o-w d-o-w-n. Even reading, we blaze through the text like wildfire. Instead we should be slowly blowing our leaves in the wind.

Whirlwind

October has come and gone and with it the warm weather. November 1st brought cold weather and the need to be bundled warm to keep the cold air from nipping at the warmth of our body. Time is ever moving foreword, but it seems as if it is moving much faster than the mundane seconds producing a minute. The leaves work themselves into a whirlwind blowing all over the street now desolate compared the festivities the night before. So little time it seems and so much to do, or the want to accomplish and try everything. I wish I had more time at Salem State to try every route, every possibility to see what clicks with me, but there is not enough space to fit every class I want to take, nor does it seem that it will all fit in four years. Although my time here at my university is simply going to serve me as a stepping stone towards the future and infinite possibilities.

Conversation in response to "Searching."

English Teacher @ SSU: I hope you can clarify what it is that would make your experience at SSU even more complete. Is it having a few more souls who are also as thoughtful and as tuned in as you (& Erin)? Is there a sense of isolation--is that it? Are your typical interactions superficial? Or are they gratifying? Is it enough to be a buddha among the unenlightened or must one be a buddha among some other buddhas, as well?


Me:  I think a little bit of everything. A lot of interactions here ARE superficial, with no meaning behind them. It would be interesting to find people here that want to connect meaningfully, I suppose that it takes time to find like-minded people. Maybe as I take classes more focused in my major I will begin to find people that I can connect with. It also does seem like outside of classes there is a sense of isolation, apart from having Erin to relate all my daily thoughts with I am alone in the community of SSU. Not that it is a bad thing, I would say I like my time to myself to process my continuous flow of thoughts. That last thought of yours is definitely intriguing, because as far as the story of gautama siddhartha, the original Buddha, he was certainly alone at first, but his teaching spread from India to China, gaining popularity. There is nothing wrong with being unenlightened and alone, it can be freeing, but sometimes it would be gratifying to have others to share my thoughts with and not have to deal with the superficial interactions that contain no value. It seems like many of my fellow students put value into things that I view as having little or no value.

Searching

The rush of picking classes, waiting for online registration to begin I begin to feel that I am truly beginning to enjoy my time as a university student. There is still a lack of social time that I have spent on campus and I feel there are so many students here, everyday at lunch I see a new face, so clearly there ARE students here and friendships beginning developed. I feel that the downfall in SSU lacking a strong community for freshman students is the social scene. Academic are great and the teachers are fantastic, it is easy to see that the professors all love what they do! Music is amazing and having an ipod with music playing makes life seem like a movie soundtrack. It plays into emotions and can be calming when everything doesn't go your way. Right now the soundtrack to August Rush fits my mood perfectly. Possibly described as somewhat melancholy, and searching for something. What could I possibly be searching for? I am in the most amazing relationship and we both have a great drive to achieve, we communicate. What am I searching for? Happiness, because that doesn't wait for anyone, it must be seized in the moment. I have a calling or a thought in my head telling me to maintain 'inner peace,' become very buddhist like, I do not need things and create closer relationships with people I care about and I grasp at it, but I do not know if I am reaching it. I guess I am searching for a greater meaning to life and how to live with compassion for all that is around me.

Waiting.

Everything takes time, so it is best to savour the moment and when what you're looking and hoping for arrives, it will be that much more magical..

I feel I know what I want to do, with school I want to already begin my spring semester because I am excited for the next classes I want to take. 

If everything happened at once there would be nothing to look foreword to. ‎"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. " -gautama siddhartha 

15 Things About ME

1. I love to ride my bike.
2. Right now I want it not to rain tomorrow.
3. I feel like going to bed instead of doing homework.
4. I hate it when my car doesn't start.
5. I fear living a mundane life, that I'll regret with my last breath.
6. I'm lonely without good company and laughter.
7. I need to stop spending lots money that I don't have.
8. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up in a good mood.
9. I just ate some tasty burritos for dinner.
10. I want to meet Andy and Frank Schleck!
11. I'm listening to the Beatles, Magical Mystery Tour.
12. I wish I was in Italy drinking some classy vino :)
13. I want to get a stuffed lion from the Tour de France given to the leader.
14. I'm happy when I spend time going for walks with my girlfriend in nature.
15. I'm disappointed that I got a 84 on my Geology test... 

Human Ants

I am watching a video online of constructiuon workers rebuilding a train track and it is interresting how the video is sped up making the workers move around so quickly, our society is somewhat like ants all worker for the queen ant (the government) or whoever really is in charge. Interesting video I thought I should share! http://vimeo.com/15780202

Sitting, Watching, Spacing Out.

A day to my thoughts. With the ipod plugged in, the music playing, I walk out into the college social scene. I'm off to lunch. I walk down the stairs into alumni plaza, heads turn and I exchange eye contact, no words. A lot can be said with eyes, but nothing is heard. Thoughts are silent and the college students faces are blank, nothing to be read. Emotions are hidden.

In the expansive space of the new cafeteria in Central Campus I grab a seat next to the wall facing towards the center of the room. I eat my lunch slowly, deep in thought, while playing along with the game of my fellow college students by wearing a mask, no voice, simply watching as people interact with one another. A girl joins her "friends" for lunch sitting down at a crammed table. Soon after she sits down they ALL get up and leave her to finish her lunch alone. To avoid the awkwardness she instantly whips out her cell phone and begins to text like her life depended on it. She too has fallen victim to the college life of donning a mask and hiding behind something.

Why are all these walls put up stopping communication and interaction between one another? Cliques have formed, its natural, because of the need to be accepted and HAVE friends. What creates this separation between students, forcing them to go deeper into wearing a mask rather than face a bit of unease? My day continues, time passes and I have class to go to. I wonder if my thoughts on the college social scene have been felt by others. I get up, clear my plate and disappear into the mass of students. 

Scratch Beginnings Follow-up

So to follow up with pursing my dream job. I am in the midst of working out a schedule around my classes for times that I would be able to teach spinning classes and would on the online social media portion of the business! I am totally pumped that this is happening and that the I am being provided with the job I was dreaming of! I definitely used Adam Shepard's tactic on how to get a job and here it is! Interesting how things happen and work out. It is all about perception and attitude.

Car Troubles Continue

On Monday afteroon, after coming home from school I called the garage where my car was being held and worked on. I talked to them and upon hearing that it was fixed I was fired up to go pick it up. I walked down to the shop, talked to them about about what happened, apparently the distributor cap had some moisture in in cause the wiring to the engine to fail, on top of that, there was mud in my fuel filter. I paid the bill fire up the engine with no problem and drove home, happy to have my car once more. This morning I had to move it further from my driveway because it it getting paved. My car wouldn't start. The engine would partially kick in for literally a second and then die. Ugh! So I put in in neutral and pushed it our of the way. Hopping into my girlfriends car, we drove off to school with me preoccupied once more with my car problems.

Woes of the Weekend Part II

Saturday morning the alarm went off, I know its 5:00 am, I think to myself what am I doing up at this hour, the sun hasn't risen and will not for another hour and a half. I lie in bed for a half hour nearly falling asleep. I finally bring myself to get out of my very warm bed on a very chilly morning in the 60s. I grab my cycling gear and go downstairs to eat breakfast. I suited up, and headed out with my dad on a cold morning to go for a long ride. On the way out of town we meet up with a small group of other crazy cyclists like ourselves. A long a grueling 55 miles later we dragged ourselves up the last hill into town. A good way to start to the day, but it left me quite drained. 

Woes of the Weekend

Sputtering to a stop, during my morning commute, my car died friday morning. A 1989 Toyota Camry, a total beast of a car, I never had any issues with it before. I ended up having it towed and got a ride from a cycling buddy to school. I missed my first class, but it ended up being okay. I am going to find out later today what went wrong and hopefully it is not going to take a lot of money to fix... This was the beginning of a very long and busy weekend for me.

"A Day in the Life"

I woke up, ready to greet the cool New England weather and begin my day of work. I marveled in my ability to free pour latte art, one drink after another, what sooned turned into a continuous line of tickets once the sign was flipped to show "open." Like a machine with no other capability I worked with efficiency hollering out names above the hum of customers chatter. After a long eight hour shift at the Atomic Cafe, I dragged myself home, nearly stumbling on the rugged sidewalk laid under siege by tree roots. I wheeled my bike out and geared up with the ultimate training partner my father (Frank Schleck), ready to unwind our minds from the day. The air was cool and a faint mist seemed to coat us and our bikes. We rode in uniform with matching black kits, we began to labor for breath working to break the rising power of the wind blowing off the shore. With a gleam in our eyes and laughter echoing through the quiet streets we rode home paying homage to the quaint yellow house atop the hill near Red's Pond once home to Tyler Hamilton. A day well lived, I am poised to rise to any challenge life may wield!

Work, Work, Work.

As the dust begins to settle I find the weekend is still not over, who would ever begin to think I would be looking foreword to the end of the weekend? Well I am in a way excited because then I will have finished two papers that I've been constantly working on and occupying my time with. All I seem to be doing is work work work, and quite literally tomorrow I'm going to my old haunt of a full-time job I did last year as an all-arounder (cashier, barista, chef) at the Atomic Cafe in Marblehead. Now I only work the Sunday shift just to get some sort of income in while I study. On friday I had only a class in the morning and the afternoon off. So I packed up and drove to Gloucester with my girlfriend, where we went to the Lone Gull Coffeehouse and worked on the English review due on Monday for English. I got a rough draft I was finally satisfied with and went off in search of my girlfriend who had wondered around the shops. We met up, found a cafe specializing in tea and enjoyed a warm satisfying cup of chai and a brisk day by the ocean. We headed over to a park and climbed down to rocks and sat right by the ocean with the foamy sea spray just barely reaching us and watching the gulls search for food. A moment of peace breathing fresh salty air, in the rush to get work done!

Birthday

A day as normal as any other to most, except for me. Today, twenty years ago I was born. I don't feel much older instead my mind is focused on the impending schoolwork that must be done. No time to dwell on what this day might mean. Although, is it wrong for me to push aside my own birthday? I feel torn on a day spent on me doing what I want and then accomplishing what I should be doing, like writing two papers for Monday. I am grateful to be here on this earth and given a chance at life and having free will to do what I feel is right. I guess for now I'll do what I must and then later create free time for myself to enjoy the day I entered this world!

No Letter "A"

Recently I found myself thinking of times when I would munch upon every bit of food in sight.  My pops bestowed upon me the title of “Loki” short for locust due to the problem of me gobbling everything in the fridge.  The title stuck with me, now I find it common to be referred to by Loki.  The simple and growing times of being boys, long gone, yet I think upon frequently.  Once school finished, I took the bus home or my pops picked me up, munched on some refreshments to keep me energized, then off I sprinted.  Flying top speed through the woods, climbing to the very tops of trees, creeping through mud and looking into the life of insects.  Boys will be boys; once I got home my clothes were thoroughly covered in dirt plus clumps of green sod.  Time flew by since then, no longer do I run through the trees, visit the life of insects or climb trees, yet I long for those simple times once more.

"Social Scene"

Where do I stand with peers? I am sitting outside the residence halls despite being a commuter, facing the perfectly mowed grass.  The new born trees have been planted and within 20 years I’m sure they will rise above the building that now tower over them.  As fellow students of the university pass by me, I wonder what separates me from them? Am I different?  A young man walks towards his next class (I presume) and a girl screams from her dorm window down to him.  The social interaction is simple although a little over the top just to say hello for all to hear.  Somehow they know each other, from sharing a class or perhaps a chance encounter at a social gathering like a party.  I suppose they are just like me, at least one commonality is we are all students.  I am sitting with my girlfriend; both of us are encompassed on accomplishing the ever-continuous workload.  We are all human and yet I feel separated from all the people bustling to class as the leaves begin to change.  I am not apprehensive of meeting new people and making new friends, but I feel I am on a different level.  I am not claiming anyone is better, myself included.  Is my feelings of disassociation to American university students coming from my two years spent abroad living in Italy and my summer of traveling cross-country exploring this vast and beautiful country?  I suppose time will tell all.

Dependency

Setting into the grind.  The school workload picks up and I meet it with enthusiasm.  I see fellow peers around me collapsing with the work or complaining to themselves and their friends, but to me school has just begun.  I am ready to match everything thrown at me.  I am feeling confident with where I am in my life. I have just recently gotten back to the North Shore area after traveling cross-country camping in many of America’s most beautiful National Parks, sharing the whole experience with my amazing girlfriend. I follow a specific training regime with my bike and I am enjoying my rest day after being on the bike straight for eight days.  I have a very large family who is unique, challenging, rewarding and loving all at the same time.  Nothing is given for free in this life; no handouts are being doled out here. Although I feel I don’t need any, I am ready to work for what I want.  Thus I can feel a sense of accomplishment. 

If you are constantly given everything you need, you have fallen subject to being dependent on someone or something to keep you satisfied or happy.  I am working on finding my inner peace and being comfortable with me in any given situation.  I want to feel I have worked for my needs and that I am self-sufficient. Smooth and efficient will be the name of the game for me, staying ahead of the workload and the inevitable stress that accompanies it hand in hand.

The Beehive

I'm cruising, finally I am understanding things in math that left me clueless. I suppose all I needed was just to take the time and figure it out by myself, at my pace. School has been interesting, so many people just like a beehive milling around making honey. How does a beehive work? Do all the bees know each other? I feel school has been masses of people and I don't know anyone quite yet. That is perfectly fine for now. I don't need a million friends. Or getting distracted with parties, drama and things that would eventually drag me down. I want to focus on school, get a rhythm find my flowers, and then when I'm ready, at my pace branch out and grow. Time management is the key, so far so good! School is a beehive and I'm finding my way.

Traveling

Travel-make a journey, typically of some length or abroad.

As far as I recall, I often found myself in transit between one point and another.  My parents divorced when I was two.  My father left our home wondering if he would ever see his son again.  The unknown had set upon his mind and made him doubt and worry.  So it happened that I did see him again, many times and I lived with him for many years.  I spent many hours traveling between homes spending summers and vacations with each parent.

            I found myself riding the Amtrak Acela Express between New Jersey and Boston.  Traveling stirred my blood and gave me hours by myself to sit and think. I would look out the window and watch the world pass by in a blur.

            The window seat on an airplane is the best, especially after takeoff or right before landing once you drop below the clouds.  Looking through the two-panel window made of plastic and gazing over the wing of the airplane and the hearing the hum of the engine.  Tiny houses begin to appear all clustered together, the baseball diamonds look like fields for ants to play on. The best is at night when the lights of the cities illuminate the dark skyline and the hum of the world continues despite the hour.  People are constantly in motion, ever moving and ever changing in their travels.

Finding a path in life to follow and what brings us to where we are?

Many experiences make up who I am.  In fact, to many to count I’m sure.  Every moment, every action my body and mind commit to will define me in the future.  This very action of mine to write today will lead to something.  Life is connected.  As the saying goes, “every action has a reaction” whether it be good or bad is for you to decide and that centers on your mindset or attitude in life.  I recently sent an email to my dream employer, to work as a cycling trainer and possibly go on bicycle tours through Italy.  Is it farfetched to want to work there? No not at all, especially because I took action, I sent an email saying why I should be there working with people at the studio and why I should be paid to ride a bike in Italy over the summer.  I guess I have Adam Shepard to thank for his inspiring book, Scratch Beginnings. The decision to read his book with an open mind changed me forever and has prompted me to question who I am, which direction I want to go and most importantly how I want to live my life.  I am confident that my actions will provide me with what I need.