Conversation in response to "Searching."

English Teacher @ SSU: I hope you can clarify what it is that would make your experience at SSU even more complete. Is it having a few more souls who are also as thoughtful and as tuned in as you (& Erin)? Is there a sense of isolation--is that it? Are your typical interactions superficial? Or are they gratifying? Is it enough to be a buddha among the unenlightened or must one be a buddha among some other buddhas, as well?


Me:  I think a little bit of everything. A lot of interactions here ARE superficial, with no meaning behind them. It would be interesting to find people here that want to connect meaningfully, I suppose that it takes time to find like-minded people. Maybe as I take classes more focused in my major I will begin to find people that I can connect with. It also does seem like outside of classes there is a sense of isolation, apart from having Erin to relate all my daily thoughts with I am alone in the community of SSU. Not that it is a bad thing, I would say I like my time to myself to process my continuous flow of thoughts. That last thought of yours is definitely intriguing, because as far as the story of gautama siddhartha, the original Buddha, he was certainly alone at first, but his teaching spread from India to China, gaining popularity. There is nothing wrong with being unenlightened and alone, it can be freeing, but sometimes it would be gratifying to have others to share my thoughts with and not have to deal with the superficial interactions that contain no value. It seems like many of my fellow students put value into things that I view as having little or no value.

Searching

The rush of picking classes, waiting for online registration to begin I begin to feel that I am truly beginning to enjoy my time as a university student. There is still a lack of social time that I have spent on campus and I feel there are so many students here, everyday at lunch I see a new face, so clearly there ARE students here and friendships beginning developed. I feel that the downfall in SSU lacking a strong community for freshman students is the social scene. Academic are great and the teachers are fantastic, it is easy to see that the professors all love what they do! Music is amazing and having an ipod with music playing makes life seem like a movie soundtrack. It plays into emotions and can be calming when everything doesn't go your way. Right now the soundtrack to August Rush fits my mood perfectly. Possibly described as somewhat melancholy, and searching for something. What could I possibly be searching for? I am in the most amazing relationship and we both have a great drive to achieve, we communicate. What am I searching for? Happiness, because that doesn't wait for anyone, it must be seized in the moment. I have a calling or a thought in my head telling me to maintain 'inner peace,' become very buddhist like, I do not need things and create closer relationships with people I care about and I grasp at it, but I do not know if I am reaching it. I guess I am searching for a greater meaning to life and how to live with compassion for all that is around me.

Waiting.

Everything takes time, so it is best to savour the moment and when what you're looking and hoping for arrives, it will be that much more magical..

I feel I know what I want to do, with school I want to already begin my spring semester because I am excited for the next classes I want to take. 

If everything happened at once there would be nothing to look foreword to. ‎"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. " -gautama siddhartha 

15 Things About ME

1. I love to ride my bike.
2. Right now I want it not to rain tomorrow.
3. I feel like going to bed instead of doing homework.
4. I hate it when my car doesn't start.
5. I fear living a mundane life, that I'll regret with my last breath.
6. I'm lonely without good company and laughter.
7. I need to stop spending lots money that I don't have.
8. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up in a good mood.
9. I just ate some tasty burritos for dinner.
10. I want to meet Andy and Frank Schleck!
11. I'm listening to the Beatles, Magical Mystery Tour.
12. I wish I was in Italy drinking some classy vino :)
13. I want to get a stuffed lion from the Tour de France given to the leader.
14. I'm happy when I spend time going for walks with my girlfriend in nature.
15. I'm disappointed that I got a 84 on my Geology test... 

Human Ants

I am watching a video online of constructiuon workers rebuilding a train track and it is interresting how the video is sped up making the workers move around so quickly, our society is somewhat like ants all worker for the queen ant (the government) or whoever really is in charge. Interesting video I thought I should share! http://vimeo.com/15780202

Sitting, Watching, Spacing Out.

A day to my thoughts. With the ipod plugged in, the music playing, I walk out into the college social scene. I'm off to lunch. I walk down the stairs into alumni plaza, heads turn and I exchange eye contact, no words. A lot can be said with eyes, but nothing is heard. Thoughts are silent and the college students faces are blank, nothing to be read. Emotions are hidden.

In the expansive space of the new cafeteria in Central Campus I grab a seat next to the wall facing towards the center of the room. I eat my lunch slowly, deep in thought, while playing along with the game of my fellow college students by wearing a mask, no voice, simply watching as people interact with one another. A girl joins her "friends" for lunch sitting down at a crammed table. Soon after she sits down they ALL get up and leave her to finish her lunch alone. To avoid the awkwardness she instantly whips out her cell phone and begins to text like her life depended on it. She too has fallen victim to the college life of donning a mask and hiding behind something.

Why are all these walls put up stopping communication and interaction between one another? Cliques have formed, its natural, because of the need to be accepted and HAVE friends. What creates this separation between students, forcing them to go deeper into wearing a mask rather than face a bit of unease? My day continues, time passes and I have class to go to. I wonder if my thoughts on the college social scene have been felt by others. I get up, clear my plate and disappear into the mass of students. 

Scratch Beginnings Follow-up

So to follow up with pursing my dream job. I am in the midst of working out a schedule around my classes for times that I would be able to teach spinning classes and would on the online social media portion of the business! I am totally pumped that this is happening and that the I am being provided with the job I was dreaming of! I definitely used Adam Shepard's tactic on how to get a job and here it is! Interesting how things happen and work out. It is all about perception and attitude.

Car Troubles Continue

On Monday afteroon, after coming home from school I called the garage where my car was being held and worked on. I talked to them and upon hearing that it was fixed I was fired up to go pick it up. I walked down to the shop, talked to them about about what happened, apparently the distributor cap had some moisture in in cause the wiring to the engine to fail, on top of that, there was mud in my fuel filter. I paid the bill fire up the engine with no problem and drove home, happy to have my car once more. This morning I had to move it further from my driveway because it it getting paved. My car wouldn't start. The engine would partially kick in for literally a second and then die. Ugh! So I put in in neutral and pushed it our of the way. Hopping into my girlfriends car, we drove off to school with me preoccupied once more with my car problems.

Woes of the Weekend Part II

Saturday morning the alarm went off, I know its 5:00 am, I think to myself what am I doing up at this hour, the sun hasn't risen and will not for another hour and a half. I lie in bed for a half hour nearly falling asleep. I finally bring myself to get out of my very warm bed on a very chilly morning in the 60s. I grab my cycling gear and go downstairs to eat breakfast. I suited up, and headed out with my dad on a cold morning to go for a long ride. On the way out of town we meet up with a small group of other crazy cyclists like ourselves. A long a grueling 55 miles later we dragged ourselves up the last hill into town. A good way to start to the day, but it left me quite drained. 

Woes of the Weekend

Sputtering to a stop, during my morning commute, my car died friday morning. A 1989 Toyota Camry, a total beast of a car, I never had any issues with it before. I ended up having it towed and got a ride from a cycling buddy to school. I missed my first class, but it ended up being okay. I am going to find out later today what went wrong and hopefully it is not going to take a lot of money to fix... This was the beginning of a very long and busy weekend for me.